Category Archives: inspirational

The Quiet Damage of the 180 Rule: Why Tactics Hurt and What to Do Instead

If you’ve ever felt lost or unheard in a relationship, you’ve probably seen the advice: do the “180 Method.” It sounds empowering, right? Cut contact, go “cool,” and focus on yourself until the other person realizes what they’ve lost.

But let’s be honest about what really happens inside when you try to follow that rule:

The Hidden Cost of the 180 Method

The 180 is a tactic, not a healing practice. It forces a disconnect that is deeply painful, and it ultimately hurts you more than anyone else.

  1. It Creates Emotional Suppression: You’re asked to be “cool” when you’re deeply hurting. This means locking genuine grief, anger, and longing inside. That emotional suppression lodges itself directly in your body, creating more stress and trauma in your nervous system.
  2. It Trades Safety for Control: The goal of the 180 is control—to control the other person’s reaction. You find temporary false safety in detachment, but you lose the real safety that comes from authentic spiritual connection and emotional integrity.
  3. It Reinforces Isolation: The 180 tells you to handle it all alone. This goes against our created design for community and connection, hindering the true release your spirit needs.

What to Do Instead: Turning to Faith-Based Somatic Guidance

Instead of using exhausting tactics, we need to turn inward and upward. We need to focus on what brings true, sustainable peace—a Faith-Based Somatic Guidance.

Our practice is about accessing the divine source of peace that your body was created for. We don’t try to manipulate external relationships; we heal the internal relationship between your mind, body, and the Holy Spirit.

The Three Steps of True Healing:

When you feel stressed or isolated, here is what you can do instead of detaching:

  1. Connect, Don’t Cool: Instead of isolating, intentionally access the sacred container of God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. This spiritual connection is your true anchor.
  2. Somatic Release (Rest, Release, Reset): Use simple, guided practices (meditations, exercises) to help your physical body release the suppressed emotions that the 180 Method forced you to hold. We are focused on achieving a nervous system reset.
  3. Trust Divine Guidance (Ruth’s Example): Like Ruth who, despite immense loss, chose loyalty and spiritual trust over survival tactics (Ruth 1:16). She found wholeness and incredible provision because her inner state was grounded in faith, not fear.

Your life isn’t transformed by a rigid human tactic, but by your profound connection to the Divine.

Stop letting tactics hurt you. You deserve True Peace. Let’s start accessing the divine guidance that leads to lasting wholeness.

Why God Didn’t Answer My Prayer (Until I Heard the End of the Story)

Sometimes, under my breath, I hear myself asking the Lord why He won’t answer my prayers for healing this or fixing that. Today the Lord answered me, but His response was not a miraculous healing or a bag full of money falling into my lap (Yes, I know, cringe). Instead, He reminded me of a story I heard so many times. This story is often told during sermons, but I never heard it like this, and I never heard the real end to it.


Once upon a time there lived a man named John. He was in his late 60s; silver had taken over his hair. His eyes were kind, and his hands were always busy, looking for ways to help others. His children had left the nest long ago, and his wife passed away a few years back. John was a devout Christian, never missing a service, studying his devotions every morning, and often found deep in prayer. He considered himself a righteous man and believed his good deeds would secure him a place in heaven.

When a weather alert went off in the middle of the night, he didn’t pay much attention to it. “The Lord will protect me,” he thought, as he went back to sleep after unplugging the radio and silencing his phone. He woke up to the sound of splashing water, heavy rain, and wind. “Dad, you need to evacuate right now!”—text messages came one after another. He chuckled to himself. “Oh, these kids nowadays. They believe everything; they are scared of everything.”

Determined to prove everyone wrong, he sat up, trying to feel for his slippers in the dark. What he felt instead was cold water covering the floor of his second-floor bedroom. The truth ran through his spine as his body and mind realized he truly was in danger. “All right,” he thought. “Don’t panic. I just need to get to the roof, and the Lord will save me.” And so he did.

Wearing the pajamas he slept in, a robe he had left on the side of the bed last night, and the pair of slippers, he climbed to the top of the roof. There he stood, praying to the Lord to deliver him from danger. Soon he saw a boat filled with men shouting to him.

They were telling him to jump into the water and start swimming; someone would swim out to meet him and help him get into the boat. “No,” he waved at them. They tried again, but he was persistent, saying that God would deliver him. This couldn’t be it. Time passed; he was wet and cold.

He heard a noise in the sky and saw a helicopter approaching. The wind was picking up, swinging the ladder they lowered for him to climb. He refused, believing the Lord would save him, but not like this. The helicopter had to leave as the winds were getting stronger and stronger, and the rain had started again. John stood on the top of the roof, praying, “Lord, please save me!”

Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, he heard the cry of a bird of prey. Its vast wings held steady as it circled around the house John was on top of. Slowly, the bird made its circles smaller, getting closer to John.

The bird was carrying something, its talons wrapped around it. Finally, the bird got close enough to John and dropped its load onto the roof. Astonished by the strange bird’s behavior, John took a look. It was a life jacket. “How odd,” John thought, as he started to walk away from it. “I should focus on my prayer, not on some silly bird.”

The wave of the second flash flood came on rapidly, ripping off the roofs, throwing around cars like they were toys. It went right through John’s house. When John opened his eyes, he saw himself standing on grass in the middle of something that looked like a meadow. It was a beautiful, warm day. In front of him was a man sitting on a tree stump.

The man had twigs in his hands, trying to make something out of them. “Ah, you’re awake,” he said, starting to look up. As John stared at the man’s face, he saw that the man was sad, his shoulders a bit droopy. The longer John stared at the man, the clearer it became. He was standing in front of Jesus, and Jesus was not happy. He started recollecting all the wrongs he did in his life. He realized he was condemned.

“But what about all the good I did? Is it worth nothing?” he asked himself, as resentment and anger were rising in his heart. Jesus asked, “What’s on your heart, friend?”

Filled with despair: “Friend, you don’t even know my name, do you? You never loved me, and you let me die in that flood.”

Jesus replied, “I know you, John, son of Bess and Edward. I knew you even before you were conceived. I was with you throughout your whole life. Here, take a look.”

And John looked. He saw himself being born, growing up, and getting married. He witnessed the birth of his children, the joys and sorrows of his life. The last thing he saw was himself on the rooftop. It all felt like a movie filled with flashbacks, with one difference.

He saw the presence of the Lord throughout his life; he saw the Lord holding him when he thought he was alone; he saw the Lord smiling when he was playing with his children. He saw the Lord weeping with him when he had lost his wife. “If you love me this much,” his voice cracked, “why did you let me die there?”

Jesus nodded and zoomed in to the last several hours of John’s life, showing John Jesus’s hand cranking up the volume on the weather radio. He saw Jesus urging his children to call the National Guard. He saw Jesus helping the pilot locate John on the rooftop, and finally, he saw Jesus commanding the bird of prey to bring John that life jacket.

John fell to his knees, his body trembling, his heart breaking, his voice reduced to a whisper. “I understand now. How can you ever forgive me?”

Jesus rose from his seat and helped John up. He said, “You’ve been forgiven all this time. I am so happy to have you here, my dear friend. Follow me; there is work to be done.”


Just like that, through this old story, Jesus reminded me of all the ways He has been sending help. I only needed to simply see it and receive it. He has never left my side. And He also sent me a reminder: “Follow me; there is work to be done.”

Beyond the Daily Post: Finding True Gratitude and Grace During the Holidays

November 1st marks the unofficial start of the holiday season rush. It’s the time when social media fills up with cheerful daily gratitude posts, and we are told to count our blessings until Thanksgiving.

I am absolutely all for embracing thankfulness, but let me be honest with you: those daily online gratitude challenges never worked for me. I couldn’t get invested enough, and I certainly didn’t feel the tremendous stress-relieving benefits everyone promised.

Instead, I felt the opposite. I felt the overwhelm.

The Overwhelm Trap of the Holiday Season

I’m sure you know the feeling. The holiday season arrives, and suddenly everyone’s expectations multiply. Friends are posting essays of thankfulness as their status updates, showing off beautiful pumpkin collections, and detailing massive shopping hauls. The pressure to have it all and do it all becomes immense.

To-do lists and to-get lists get longer, days get shorter, and frankly, tempers get shorter. Before you know it, you are running on coffee, driven by obligation, and completely disconnected from the very grace and joy the season is supposed to bring. This is not how we are meant to arrive at Thanksgiving.

A Somatic Way to Ground Gratitude

A few years ago, right in the middle of this stressful buildup, I was looking for a way out. I realized the traditional approach wasn’t reaching the part of me that felt anxious and overwhelmed—my body.

This is when I had the idea to combine my tentative drawing attempts with a journal format. This is how I started my first ever Gratitude Art Journal.

This simple shift was revolutionary. It wasn’t about writing perfect prose or checking a box on social media; it was about connecting my hands and my creative energy to the practice of gratitude.

Instead of a mental exercise, it became a somatic practice. It was an act of drawing, painting, or collaging a small moment of thanks. This is when I felt a tremendous, palpable relief from the stress. The anxiety in my chest and the tightness in my shoulders began to soften.

Grace Through Embodied Connection

This experience became a cornerstone in the development of my faith based somatic method. True healing happens when we involve the body, the spirit, and the mind. The Gratitude Art Journal is powerful because it is a low-pressure, embodied way to practice what you preach.

When you use your hands and your senses to express thankfulness, you bypass the mental pressure of perfection. You are quite literally anchoring that feeling of grace and gratitude in your body. This makes it a perfect complement to how I guide my clients in Healing and Spiritual Reconnection. We are seeking not just mental shifts, but deep, sustained energetic and physical peace.

This November, let’s choose a path that honors our energy and brings us closer to Divine guidance, rather than burning us out with expectations. You don’t need to be an artist; you just need a pen, a piece of paper, and a moment to notice one thing you are grateful for, and simply let your hand move.

By embracing this simple, somatic approach to gratitude, we can arrive at the Thanksgiving table with a heart full of genuine peace, ready to receive true grace.

Setting the Goals Through the Fog

Today is day 8 of the New Year and unlike the years before, I have no resolutions and no particular goals. This is very sad as I always strive to set my goals high and resolve to be a better version of me in the next year.

 

I do not want to add all the details in what and how happened; I simply do not want to re-live some of the experience 2016 added to my list. Let me just say it was not kind. Many might agree, others won’t.

 

Although it was a tough year, I still got to go home and visit my family most of which I hadn’t seen in more than 9 years and my boys had never had a pleasure to meet. It was a highlight of the year and most of it was a beautiful trip,  but it also had it’s own challenges and trials.

 

Last year I spent a lot of time in active meditation, writing and drawing. Lots of self-digging, personal improvement work and trying to see through the glass ceiling.

 

The foggy glass ceiling, may I add. Maybe there is not even a ceiling there, just the fog. The future is foggy and there are way too many uncertainties that make me anxious. Anxiety, fear of the unknown, lack of understanding of where I am being taken and why sit heavy in my heart.

 

Then my eyes catch a colorful piece of paper I had pasted onto my office wall in September of 2016. I read the words and feel my heartbeat starting to slow down.

8

 

Let me tell you more about these. They are a result of several months of meditating and asking questions. They seem quite simple and straightforward but I remember I had to fight for every word.

God has shaped me and placed me where He needs me.

(I believe with all my heart that God’s hand is in everything there is and He has me here and now for a reason.)

 

His purpose is divine.

(Even if it looks foggy and unclear to me from my end of the road, it is still there. Did you ever drive into a patch of fog? You may slow down, turn the headlights on and keep extra cautious, but you are still moving through it, right? You are not going to stop in the middle of a road just because there is a foggy patch.)

 

I will see it once I’m ready.

(Sometimes the foggy patch is longer than I anticipate, and it is important to remember that the patch has its borders. The sun will shine again. Just keep pushing through.)

 

I have all the support I need in order to make it happen.

(Count my blessings! I am so blessed with a husband who gets me!)

 

My God will give me everything I need to live a life of abundance.

(Have faith, little heart. Have faith.)

 

These short and simple statements are called affirmations and they help me when my high-functioning anxiety creeps in and steals my sleep at night. They also help me see the purpose in my daily routine duties and chores. They help me see that even emptying the dishwasher brings more to my household than just the dishes being put away. It helps with keeping the kitchen organized, the counters clean and meals prepped with ease and on time.

 

If you find them helpful and would like to have one on your phone or on your wall, you are welcome to use this free download. Click on the image and download your *pdf file. All I ask in return is for you to let me know that you got one in the comments below.

 

May the Lord be with you!

God’s purpose is divine